Baby “E” makes 3

Word Press crashed on my last update…in September.  See below for that post – sorry no pics.

Let’s see.  I have my last class of the year on Wednesday, the other two have completed and I feel good about the chances of getting good grades all the way around.  Eye surgery before Thanksgiving went pretty well, but they did have to go back on 12/1 to do some more work.  I *may* have to have some more in February to do some more fine tuning.  Still not seeing 3-D, but the exatropia is gone – in fact if anything I’m a little cross eyed right now.  No pics…you don’t want to see – trust me.

Sheryl is good, still working at the clock shop and E is just a hoot.  She’s learning words, colors, numbers and is at that stage where she likes to repeat everything Mom or Dad says, so we’re being very careful.  Plus she knows what cereal is and milk and some other words that lead to her wanting to eat.  Kid is eating us out of house and home.

Now, on to Advent picture of Elizabeth:

The kid loves to sing!  Can you guess the note?

“You! Go get me…”  She still likes to make us get her next toy…

We just like this picture

Still singing…

She loves playing on the sofa…

and also the cushions..

See what I mean??

Classic kid pose…

Pretty happy with this shot…even if she isn’t.

got lucky with this one…

So yeah, she’s a happy girl..

But I’m sure I’ll pay for this one day…

Oh…and me and Barney hitting the trail – dude almost looks like he knows what he’s doing right?

+ Peace my friends….

Howdy friends and family!

Since I last wrote, school has started for me. I’m taking Medieval History and Emergence of the West, and in November I’ll be adding a Introductory Psych course. Medieval History is right in my sweet spot, covering an era I really like. Emergence of the West is more of the same, so I’m absolutely loving my courses. Let’s see if I feel that way at mid-terms! Ha!

Never being content with the status quo, I’ve scheduled to get my eyes fixed at Thanksgiving break. This surgery will bring both eyes together for the first time since I a teen or even beyond that. Pictures seem to show a small separation as early as 5 or so. There’s a real possibility of ending up with temporary or permanent double vision. If it’s temporary my brain will have to re-map to accept stereo vision…and also I’ll see things 3-d. Right now, the doctors explained to Sheryl that I see 2-d – which is to say I see my world as a very flat picture. If the double vision turns out to be permanent, we’ll have to go back under the knife and have the work “undone”. There’s still the risk of permanent blindness in one or both eyes, although that’s a very slight chance. At least I’ve seen my daughter.

Sheryl is doing well, and is back involved in the church and getting her life back now that E is at day care. Thankfully she’s getting caught up at work…putting her backlog at a much more manageable level…just in time for the holiday rush! It’s nice to start working on our relationship after having been focused for so long on having a family. I was chatting with a friend the other day – it occurred to me that we’ve been pursuing E in one form or another since 1998.

E finally told us (in her own way) that she was ready for something new. Mom and Dad are great…but she needed something more. Daycare! Hooray! So we got E into daycare 11 months after making her a permanent member of our family. (Pic below is E on her way to her first day of daycare…)

She loves day care, and already has plenty of male suitors (uh oh) and generally is well liked by the staff and kids alike. She’s really kicked her life into overdrive while there. She’s talking more and showing emotions more – all of which are good things – plus Mom is getting her sanity back and finally catching up on work.
My work is going well, despite the most recent round of layoffs. School is on break for 3 weeks, at which point I’ll resume my schooling. I’ve gotten along with the department chair, and she’s helped me a lot in preparing for the next couple years.
Sheryl is back helping at the church and I’ll be helping out at a week end retreat this fall. Who’d a thunk me helping at a Christian retreat? I’m jazzed and really thankful for the opportunity to serve Him.
We broke down and bought a new (to us) car to help meet transportation needs. Already got pulled over in it too! Window tint. Got let off with a verbal warning and advice to get a medical waiver for the tint, which is illegal in Iowa. Waiver paperwork on order…car parked. So that’s our story for now!

It’s hard to believe that it’ll be one year on July 14^th. It sometimes feels like yesterday we were in China and at times it feels like years already. The changes in Elizabeth are amazing when I look back from where we started.

A year ago she could barely pull herself up to a standing position. She could sit just fine. She could not crawl very well. When we got her home she would just sit in the same place for hours and play with whatever we gave her. The heart breaking part is when we’d pick her up and cuddle her she would push away from us. She would never allow anyone into her personal space. If you got near her face she would turn her head away from you. It was very difficult to get her to look you in the eye. We started to rock her to sleep in China and we continued that when we got home. She would lie across our laps as far from our face as possible. We’d pour our love into Elizabeth and it was never enough for her to show us love back.

It became very apparent that Elizabeth was seriously neglected at the orphanage. We had an abused child on our hands and I really felt out of my league. How the heck do we help this toddler? We took the advice of one of the Bethany folks and we isolated her from the time we brought her home. I started to take her to work a few weeks after we got home because that would be the routine. I did everything for her at work, I changed her diapers, I fed her, I would rock her to sleep at nap time, and I would be there when she woke up from her nap. My parents could only play with her. That was a weird role for my Mother; she had a hard time with it in the beginning. We did everything the same or as close to the same as possible to establish a consistent routine.

I wouldn’t allow other people to hold her. Elizabeth displayed the classic symptoms of a neglected child. She would go from one person to the next to try and get what she wanted, a lot of people thought she was being sociable and friendly. I got tired of trying to explain that no, she was trying to fulfill her needs by going to from one person to the next. That was when it became very apparent that the advice from Bethany was spot on. We needed Elizabeth to rely on us for her needs and no one else otherwise she would never learn to trust us.

Elizabeth acted like a baby and that is how she was treated even though she was older. In retrospect that is exactly what she needed. She needed to be a baby all over again. She got that chance. We finally figured out that Elizabeth could only bond with one person. We sure had some tears and laughter trying to figure out a balance between me as the primary caregiver and Mike to be included. Okay it was really more tears than laughter. This past year has been very difficult and stressful. It’s had its triumphs and joys too!

Elizabeth started to crawl really well, as in use her hips, just before she started to walk. That day will forever be stuck in my head it was October 21. From then on she was EVERYWHERE! We had a gate up in the living room and that was her play room. She could go anywhere in that room. That was just fine by her. That room was all she needed. She had freedom to move and that was all she wanted.

Sometime in the December time frame that room was not enough. She wanted to BE with us. Triumph! She was showing signs of needing us! She still would not allow anyone near her face, but she was showing signs of needing more than just space to move around. So we moved the gate into the kitchen to block of the stairs. She now had the entire upstairs to roam in and roam she did. Whatever room we were in she was in too.

I know you’re thinking that I said she was treated like a baby, but she’s doing all the toddler things. Only her body was a toddler, emotionally she was still a baby. At the U of I she was rated at somewhere between 3 months to 6 months on many of their cognitive tests. She was not talking not even babbling much either. She could not feed herself. Come to find out she could we think she was ‘discouraged’ from feeding herself. Gads! Her and food is a whole other story! I’ll tell that one after I get done here.

The breaking point or break through came sometime late January. Elizabeth had been with us for seven months now almost eight. Elizabeth became cranky, that’s the polite way to put it. At times she was unreasonable. There was a 5 week stretch of no sleeping. I’m not joking about not sleeping it got so bad I made Mike sleep downstairs with ear plugs just so he could function at work. It became very apparent that Elizabeth was struggling with something. It was the beginning of her transformation. At night she wouldn’t allow Mike to put her to sleep anymore. She would not lie across my lap anymore she wanted to be cradled in the fetal position. She still would not allow me near her face but she wanted to be closer. She would wake up every couple of hours and cry and cry and cry. Sometimes there was no consoling her.

Sometime around the beginning of March is when it all happened. I got a ‘cling-on’. She started to invade MY personal space. She won’t let me in hers unless it was on her terms but she wasn’t turning away either. By the end of March she couldn’t get enough she was all over me. I could get into her personal space anytime I wanted and she was all for it. She’s still like that today I can’t move without tripping over her.

Oh yeah she’s bonding. What I can’t get some people to understand is that bond is still fragile and it needs nourished. She’s only beginning to understand trust and love. Once she’s bonded with Mike I think we’ll have a very solid bonding. She’s learned she can trust me and she relays on me for EVERYTHING now we are starting the process of her bonding with her Dad. This is going to take us months to accomplish. We started by Dad feeding her and changing her diapers again. Yes there was a period of time Mike got out of that duty, much to his dismay. I know your thinking “but Mike you don’t have to change diapers!” Well he didn’t get to do anything for months he just got to sit on the sidelines and watch. I think he really had it harder than me. He got to watch but he couldn’t participate.

Around the beginning of June Elizabeth started to get restless at work. She was not getting enough stimulation anymore. She needed MORE. That more turned out to be daycare. She needed to be with other kids and play and play and play her little heart out. She’s doing well at daycare this is her third week now. The first week she was a little shell shocked. I know you’re thinking “but how the heck is that possible?” Well I could drop her off and she would just go with it. When I picked her up the moment she saw me she’d drop whatever she was doing and climb up me and not let go. The second week the tears began when I dropped her off she didn’t want me to leave. Dad dropped her off today and she cried for him too. Another triumph! Something folks don’t understand is this is a learning experience for Elizabeth. Mommy and Daddy leave but we ALWAYS come back. This is a milestone for her. She’s away from us but she’s learning to trust us to come back. I think it will take her several more weeks before the tears stop. She’s just beginning to trust this is another step in that trust.

It has been a stressful year. It’s also been a good year. We’ve learned so much about ourselves – both Mike and I. Our relationship is stronger as well. Now Mike and I have the fun task (and it is fun!) to find time for US as a couple. We’ve hired a babysitter a few times now and it’s gone well. Elizabeth didn’t scare her off… yet! She’s a very demanding little girl!

I’m off to recoup from my bronchitis. I get a whole day to relax and heal. I need it I’m tired. Until next time! Peace my friends.

Sheryl

…and you were in between 2 girls…” is generally NOT what a middle aged married man and a father of 1 wants to get in an IM chat…from anybody. But there ya have it, I’m chatting on Facebook with a friend from church when she brings this to my attention. Now I’ve been married for a really long time to the same woman and I can honestly say I’ve been faithful the entire time…yet I did wonder “What was I doing with 2 girls? And I was between them? AND it’s on the web?” Good grief, please let it not be me, or at least let it be a bad photo shop…maybe me from before I met my wife? Anything? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?

Well, if you haven’t seen it, here’s the incriminating photo…

Yeah, me between 2 girls…and recently too. If I never graduate, at least there’s visible proof that I was there. Curiously this is for their “non traditional learner site” which I’ll be leaving in the fall for their “traditional” program. (If you click on the picture it’ll open up to a larger size). There was also this picture:

Which aside from my pear shape and balding pate is a pretty nice picture.

I was actually contacted by the college to see if I’d be interested in volunteering for these photos, and with my tremendous ego (and unmitigated sex appeal *ha!*) jumped at the chance.

+Peace

Michael – male model for women who no longer care…

* Whew * What a week we’ve had! Mom and Dad went to get their new puppy and en route their van broke down. Then we found out Uncle Dan passed away, so with sorrow filled hearts we trekked out to New York for the wake and funeral. Mom and Dad then had to go back to Nebraska to get their van and come home where Mom promptly got sick!

Oh, and Mom’s new pup is sick too!

The trip to New York was (aside from the aforementioned funeral) was nice. Good flights – we got delayed on the way home from La Guardia by about 2 hours, but NWA was decent enough to get us on the next connecting flight home without any input from us. So we got home a bit later than planned, but home non-the-less. It was good to reconnect with family again. The downside to being half a country apart is that we don’t get together as often as we’d like. A few words about Dan. I was talking to my good friend Jim on Monday right before we left. I was telling him where we were going and why and said “you’d really liked Dan – warm smile with a twinkle in his eye, the kind of guy that would make you feel like you’d been good friends your whole life.” All my memories of Dan are filled with warmth and joy, and I can say without hesitation that he was (and is) one of the really good people in my life. I miss him and can’t imagine the pain being felt by his wife and children. Yet as Monsignor Badia said, “we must open up a new chapter in our life book” and so as tough as that is, we will move on – with a little loss in our hearts, knowing the world is a lesser place now with him gone and yet having been better because of his time here. God bless you Dan and family.

The good side of this week was another good friend’s graduation from high school. E has a fast friend in Felicia (and all her family) who have been so very good to us through our journey. Felicia’s Dad and I get together at least once a week for lunch and try to walk at night or ride our bikes to work together. We’re thankful to count them amongst our friends.

Sheryl and I have been working with E to get her to blow kisses which she has started in on this week too. I’ve also been working on getting her to count to 5.  The area education agency stopped by on Friday and they are quite pleased with E’s progress. Somehow it never seems like it’s enough and yet I know that I can’t and shouldn’t wish our lives away. It’s still tough to look at E and see a 2 year old body, but who is still delayed. She doesn’t talk yet, and so we tell ourselves that when she does, she won’t stop!

School for me starts back up on Tuesday. I have 4 chapters in Macroeconomics to complete between now and then. Looks like I got some light reading ahead. Sheryl’s doing as well as you might think. E has begun bonding with Sheryl in earnest, so Sheryl has a constant shadow and growth that looks like E on her hip most of the time! She tries to get some work and living in when she can – mostly when E is napping or sleeping. So that’s our deal for now. Now for the pics:

E on another plane trip – this was heading home from NYC.

E with Mom at a local park – looking dubious of the splash pad.

E being E

E with Felicia at graduation party.

E chillin’ like a villain

Looks like nap time…mine too!

Sweet dreams!

Out shopping with the family…

Seriously? A 6 weeks without a post? Whoa talk about epic failure!

We’re good here in the midwest – E is learning like a madwoman. We have a mixed blessing – she’s still not talking which makes potty training nigh on impossible, but the upside is she isn’t sassing Dad yet! She’s better with walking everyday and is really starting to explore everything – again a mixed blessing.

In the fall I’ll be transferring from “Night School” which is the ADVANCE program at Mt. Mercy College to their traditional program. NO I’m not quitting my day job! I will be leaving the pursuit of a Business Admin degree to try secondary education and history – a double major! Dr. Edy Parsons has been really instrumental in helping me along the path of discernement. Along with Allison McNeese, who has been more than gracious in my decision making process.
My beloved wife has been really supportive along this process as well. Once again she is saying “I hope you’re not planning on changing anything else!” And no, dear, I’m not. Oh and thanks too!

As you can tell below, E has gotten glasses. She’s near sighted as a result of her albinism, and trust me she can see things up close pretty dog gone well! It’s here mid-range and far sight that isn’t so good. The glasses are really strong according to my wife, but E has really taken to them, particularly when we’re anywhere but in the car or at home. It’s amazing to watch her discover the world around her.

We go back to the U of I in about 2 weeks for further DNA testing to try to determine what type of albinism she has.

We’ll also be getting her thyroid re-checked. The levels were a bit abnormal when she was tested last year so we need to learn more about that too! Anyway, enough yammering from me! Enjoy the pics and God Bless!

+Peace

Yeah, I got nothin’ No creative headlines here. I did have a cool E moment this morning. Let me tell you about it.

I meet with a group of men for prayer and reflection on Friday morning before work. I was running late as usual, and so when one of the guys came to the door I invited him in to our house while I finished getting ready. He’s met E before and E always runs to him. But not this morning. E looked at him suspiciously and when he called her, she came to me and peeked out from behind my legs. She never did go to him, but she did stay behind me to look at him. Pretty huge step for her – to know I’m her Dad and I will protect her. It was a first today and it was pretty darn cool.

Now for something that maybe amuses only me and a co-worker. Flash back (for those of you old enough) to this gem which had me laughing out loud this morning:

That\’s a spicy meatball!

Have a great weekend!

+ Peace

Let’s get this out of the way right now…

I have laughed until I cried over this one. On Fark they often say “Aisle seat please” when something makes said poster laugh – particularly over something un PC.  I KNOW I shouldn’t laugh, but this is hilarious. We are equal opportunity offenders:

Yeah, that’s her cat food on the plate. And yeah, I think this is pretty darn funny too!

We’re doing well here, we’re looking to enroll E into “Kindermusic” which is a program designed to immerse kids into music. She’ll be starting soon. Next month we’re thinking about enrolling E into “Water Babies” which is a baby’s first exposure to a swimming pool. Yes, it’s an indoor pool. We’re cruel, but not THAT cruel

Now for more pics…let’s face it, that’s what you came here for…

Pretty proud of that last one I can tell you…

+Peace